Summary
One of the core elements of a classicLegend of Zeldaadventure is the variety of powerful items Link gets to pick up on his quest. Fromneck-breaking movement booststo devastating anti-evil weaponry, by the end of each game, Link ends his quest with an arsenal preparing him for any situation.
However, not everyLegend of Zeldagame can have a perfect array of practical treasures dotted around the map or at the bottom of a dungeon. Some of the items or equipment have been outright duds that might have one or even zero practical uses in the entire game.
A piece of equipment that nullifies all incoming damage sounds pretty useful, but the problem is the price, and it’s a price that Link will feel burning a hole in his rupee bag forever (literally).Twilight Princess’Magic Armor is obtained at the end of a very lengthy sidequest that involves a lot of investment for little return, besides buying out the snootiest shopkeeper in Hyrule.
After a whole lot of grass-cutting and rock-breaking, Link will be able to buy a fancy-looking armor set for a (still pricy) discount. The armor makes Link immune from damage, but it also slowly drains his rupee funds, two at a time. If Link takes damage, he also loses a further ten. Adding insult to injury, once Link becomes penniless, the armor will gain mass and will make him run as if wading through mud. He becomes so heavy that not evenLink’s faithful companion, Epona, will allow him to ride her.
Throughout the years,the Zeldaseries has had innovative mechanics, but occasionally, Nintendo will put out concepts that, while great ideas, aren’t great in execution. There’s no better example than the food item in the originalThe Legend of Zelda, which attracts enemies to its location with its succulent scent. InWind Waker, this concept was perfected, as demonstrated by the fish-scribing, rat-bribing, and seagull-guiding. In contrast, luring foes with the food bait inThe Legend of Zeldais a waste of time, as gathering a bunch of enemies into one location has little tactical advantage besides occasionally escaping to the next monster-filled screen.
Food is required to complete one of the dungeons and is used to convince an enemy to abandon his post, but it may as well have just been a trade item. The problem with food is that it is unclear which enemies it will attract. Skeletons, which seem like they could use something to eat the most, are uninterested, whereas the land-wandering Red Octoroks, whose mouths seem to be used exclusively for shooting high-velocity rocks, can’t get enough of the stuff.
4Bomblings - Twilight Princess
Creepy Crawler Bombs (Without Much Wallcrawling)
Even super fans of theZeldaseries may not remember this optional bomb variant as an item, perhaps because it serves no purpose for adventuring or puzzle solving and very little use combat-wise. The enemy variants of Bomblings inTwilight Princesscan be used to defeat the boss in the Forest Temple with the help of the Gale Boomerang. The item variant can be bought from the Bomb Shop owner in Kakariko village but can also be safely ignored.
In fact, given how chaotic these bomb-based creatures are, it’s probably safer not to carry them around on an adventure. Unlikethe wall-crawling Bombchu, the bombling is terrestrial only. Any distant explodable object can be taken care of with a well-timed lob or, better still, with a bomb arrow, which Link can produce as soon as he has both bombs and a bow.
3Telescope - Wind Waker
A Thematically Appropriate But Short-Sighted Addition
AsWind Wakeris a game all about sailing the Great Ocean, sometimes with pirates, it makes thematical sense that Link would be given a telescope to scan for distant land on the watery horizon. However, besides roleplay flavor, the telescope serves zero purpose. Players are only ever forced to use it when Link needs to get a better look at a giant bird carrying a mysterious girl in its talons, but even this is superseded by a cutscene with a better camera angle.
The telescope could have served many purposes inWind Waker, perhaps helping Link see the faraway solution toa classic, fiendishly hardZeldapuzzle. Link is hardly ever out at sea long enough to need to find land. Plus, even when used on the sea to check out distant landmasses, the texture of faraway objects is still billboarded through the glass (which is when objects and terrain that are far from the player use the low-poly model to help with performance), making distant vistas look like smudges anyway.
2Hawkeye - Twilight Princess
Far And Away The Most Skippable Purchase
From an overview of its item roster, it’s clear thatTwilight Princesshas its fair share of redundant gear, from the tragically underutilized Spinner, which can basically only be used in one dungeon and area, to the exciting-in-theory-but-disapointing-in-practice Dominion Rod. However, those items actually served a purpose. Besides allowing Link to fire arrows at an extremely long distance, the Hawkeye has no practical utility.
There is nosuper-fun dungeon boss inTwilight Princessto take care of from afar and no tricky heart piece unlocked by some savvy, long-distance shooting, and given that Link is such a proficient and dynamic short-range fighter, stopping to zoom in on faraway targets just feels clunky. The mask probably makes Link look goofy when he wears it, but as there’s no way to see him when he’s using it, there’s no way to know for sure.
Medigoron, the seller of this particular item, is hidden behind four explodable walls, where the rest of the Gorons presumably imprisoned him for his terrible handicraft and fraudulent business practices. Link can purchase what he calls a “Giant’s Knife” for a costly 200 rupees, a double-handed sword with incredible reach. The only problem is that it breaks after six swipes against enemies or solid objects.
Although Medigoron (so named for his mediocracy) won’t offer a refund, he does kindly offer Link a better version for another 200 rupees. It is better in the sense that it takes a few extra strikes before it snaps again, but it will always ultimately shatter, leaving Link with nothing but a useless hilt. The only benefit that the Giant’s Knife offers is relief when Linkfinally completes the trading questfor the superior Biggoron’s Sword.
