Summary
People think ofThe Elder Scrollsseries as high fantasy, as it presents epic sagas with none of the cheesiness that the genre sometimes lapses into. That’s not always the case, though, as the series can get downright silly at times.
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That lighthearted sensibility comes out in side quests. In a world of rampant magic, meddlesome monsters, and clashing cultures, players never know what they’ll run into. That’s part of the fun. If it had just stuck to somber tasks and dour stakes,The Elder Scrollswouldn’t be nearly as memorable. Instead, its goofy exploits have helped it endure within gamers' hearts.
7Recovering Cloudcleaver
One can’t predict the mess that drunkards will get into.Morrowindis a prime example of that. NearCaldera, players encounter a naked Nord who claims he was seduced and robbed by a witch. It’s only after finding said witch that they learn the inebriated Nord made a pass at her. In retaliation, she put a sleeping spell on him and stole his stuff, keeping his axe as collateral.
The whole tale is theElder Scrollsequivalent of a naughty boy having his toy taken away. It doesn’t help that the Nord never puts his clothes on either. While he argues back and forth with the witch, players will likely wonder how they got suckered into mediating such a conflict.
6Sheogorath
This quest shares its name with theDaedric Prince of Madness, so its inclusion is no surprise. Sheogorath tasks players with fulfilling a prophecy, albeit for no other reason than his own amusement. The first part involves collecting a soul gem, yarn, and lettuce. The second sees fans steal cheese from a prized collection. Soon, the entire exercise begins to look like an elaborate prank.
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Offering these items to Sheogorath brings forth a series of plagues. A swarm of rats and dead sheep is bad enough, but it eventually rains flaming dogs on an unsuspecting town. Afterward, the goofy god gifts players with aWabbajack, which morphs enemies into random animals and objects. At this point, fans will expect nothing less.
5The Potato Snatcher
At the Faregyl Inn ofOblivionis a woman lamenting the loss of her potatoes. She grew these supersized vegetables to use in herspecial potato bread. Unfortunately, a large man has supposedly stolen her supply. Anyone can understand stealing money, but potatoes are a perplexing pick. However, it only gets sillier once players find the thief.
The culprit turns out to be an ogre. One would ordinarily wonder why the creature would swipe these vegetables, but theyarein his size. As such, it’s hard to blame the poor dope. Still, players must retrieve the potatoes, or they’ll never get the special bread.
4Zero Visibility
In any other context, this quest might be a horror or thriller, butOblivionplays it as a screwball comedy. All is not well in the town of Aleswell; the citizens are invisible due to a wizard’s spell. It’s easy to see how this gets in the way of their daily activities. As amusing as it is, though, the virtuous thing is to help them.
Upon speaking to the wizard, however, fans learn that he didn’t mean to turn the people invisible. He’s just that incompetent. This revelation is extra insulting, given the hoops that players have to jump through in theMages' Guild.
3A Night To Remember
As embarrassing as others' drunken exploits are, it’s more hilarious when the shoe is on the other foot. This occurs inSkyrim. A Whiterun punk challenges players to a drinking contest. Brimming with confidence, they accept. Sadly, they don’t know how strong this stuff is.
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The brew leads to a slew of misadventures. In their stupor, players trash a sacred temple, sell a stolen goat to a giant, and marry a stranger. Behind all of this is the malicious challenger, who is really Saguine: the Daedric Prince of Debauchery and Hedonism.It’s another case of the gods having a laugh at mortals' expense. One can’t argue with the results, though. Fans can laugh at their characters' benders without worrying about the hangover or other consequences.
2Brelyna
They say practice makes perfect, butSkyrimputs that to the test. In the Mages Guild, a burgeoning sorceress named Brelyna asks to try her spells on the Dragonborn. No sane person would ever see that as a good idea.If players let themselves be suckered into it, they’re in for a trippy ride.
Her experimental spell has a heap of unforeseen effects. The first turns players' vision green. The second attempt transforms them into a bunch of animals, ranging from dogs to cows to horses. The developers could have gone much further with this concept, but what they have is still plenty ridiculous. It’s almost sad that Brelyna gives up her magical pursuit, as she could have patented her work as a farcical farm spell.
1Bullying Braith
Not enough games let players be mean to kids. Luckily,Skyrimscratches that itch. Two children are fighting in Whiterun. Braith constantly bullies Lars Battle-born. Even his mother lambastes him for being pushed around by another child. The situation has tragic implications, but it’s amusing in the moment.
It gets funnier once players take matters into their own hands. They can ask her nicely to stop, trick her into thinking Lars is sick, or threaten to ship her off to an orphanage. Some might consider it low to intimidate a kid, but it makes for a good mean-spirited gag. It’s also ironic since Braith actually likes Lars. She just didn’t know how to express it aside from teasing. That’s both cute and authentic to real childhood crushes. The quest brilliantly jumps between several types of humor, ensuring that most players will find something to chuckle at.
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